BEING A WIFE

Bible Study has progressed to our lesson on Being A Wife. Much of what is being discussed speaks to my heart, but speaking the loudest is this - LOVE IS AN ACTION. 7 1/2 years of marriage and I don't think I've ever really thought of it that way. It is something I have to learn and I discovered that God has been preparing me for this lesson, making my heart teachable, for at least a week.

While in the bookstore last week I purchased The Love Dare, a book based on the movie Fireproof. Fireproof, is the story of a firefighter who uses a 40-day experiment (the love dare) to save his failing marriage. The book is a "40-day challenge for husbands and wives to understand and PRACTICE unconditional love." I flipped through the book at the counter and thought it would be a fun exercise one that I would breeze through, because I’m already the perfect wife. I didn’t even tell Larry, I was just going to surprise him with 40 days of uninterrupted kindness. Well, I had no idea that not even ten pages in, it would reveal to me that I’m not so perfect after all. My confession to you is that I haven't even made it past Lesson 1 – Patience:

"Love is Patient. The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret."

By the end of day one, I completed the lesson, but I couldn’t believe how many opportunities I’d missed. I needed to spend some time on Patience, stopping and praying and asking God to conform my heart. This is where this week's "Being A Wife" became invaluable to me.

The first point:

1. Our relationship to our spouse is parallel to our relationship with the Lord. God has many times compared His relationship to the body of Christ to the relationship between a husband and wife.” Required Reading – 1 Corinthians 13.

“Love is patient, love is kind. I does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is no rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

Do you ever just get embarrassed in the presence of God? I didn’t make it past the first three words.

The second point ACTION:

2. Love does not need to be felt in order to exist. IT IS AN ACTION.

How did that convict me? Well, whenever I lash out, my get out of jail free card is “I’m tired,” “I’m stressed,” “I’m overworked,” “I have two toddlers,” and on and on. But, I have to make a conscience decision even when I don’t feel like it, to show love and kindness towards my husband, building him up instead of tearing him down with words because I don't feel like playing nice. Nowhere in scripture does it make exceptions for stress, work or small children. This relates to something else God is dealing with me on - Discipline. Amy made a great point “God does not ask us to operate on emotions or to follow our hearts; we must lead our hearts to conform to God’s will.”

The final point was Prayer:

3. Prayer is the key to a long lasting, God filled marriage.

We should pray for the strength or our marriage, solutions to whatever is troubling you (instead of calling all your girlfriends) as well as cover our spouse in prayer so that he may carry out what God ordained him to do. Amy took the point on prayer to express another one. She wrote:

“I want to take this subject matter and use it as an opportunity to express another point: If you have an issue with your spouse, you have no right to speak of that issue to anyone else if you have not taken it to God in prayer and then your spouse. You are your husband’s helpmate. It does not help him if you do not pray on his behalf, not consult with him, or worse gossip about him to others.”

This was a God sent lesson for me. No matter how "right" you think you have it, whatever IT is, when you raise the standard of God’s word against it, you are humbled and your thoughts are forever transformed, I pray that my actions follow.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord" Isaiah 55:8

We are now studying Part 2 on Marriage (submission). It was not a part of our original plan but Amy felt led by God to take a deeper look into the marriage relationship. I am looking forward to it.!